Reminiscing

The other morning I was trying to compare my memories of what Lincoln looked like back then and what he is today. It almost seems like a different life-time, a different baby. He has a few set-backs, but for the most part he is doing really well. I can hardly imagine the child who was struggling and clinging to precious life. When we're in these trying, desparate, dark moments we think we may never survive. We don't know how they will ever pass and each moment...smell...sound becomes so deeply etched into our minds. I heard the perfect description before, but don't remember where I heard it from. They said "the pain I felt was as though my heart was literally breaking in half." I felt my chest caving in and I saw and felt so much darkness. Although, through the darkness there was always a ray of light. Things change, that is life, it's ever changing. And although I remember quite a few things vividly, the pain has lessened and we're in an awesome place right now.
I took Scottie to baseball practice tonight. The field they played on was right across the street from the hospital. I sent a text to one of Lincoln's primary nurses to see if she was working. The last time she took care of him was right before he got transfered BACK to PCMC due to his infection from his shunt. He spent the last month of his hospital stay at PCMC. It had been probably six months since she had seen him. She was one of our favorites too!
She was amazed at him. She couldn't stop drooling. When he was in her care, she would tease about taking him home in her purse. Tonight she commented that none of her purses were big enough for him to fit in anymore!

Our sweet respiratory therapist also bumped into us. Ryan teared up when he saw Lincoln. I truly believe these little spirits come to teach us a lesson. Whatever that may be for whomever may need it. It was very rewarding for me, to show those who worked so very hard to keep Lincoln here, the fruits of their labors.

We had SO many warm people who cared for not only Lincoln, but for us as well. That's why it was so easy to call UVRMC our 'home'. I walked into the parents lounge, the smell smacked me in the face like I walked into a brick wall. A flood of feelings, emotions and memories came back. I didn't cry though, I could smile. What a journey!

Really....Nine?

Ah-hem.....six months adjusted. I often get the statement, "He's nine months old??? He's so TEENY!" Then in my mind I think, "hello...he was a preemie and technically he's only supposed to be six months old!" But then I remember it's only natural to point out the obvious and it's not being said in a negative way. I could tell people he's only six months old, but I have a hard time with that because I know that he's not...!

This was his first time trying rice cereal.....ummm not so sure about this mom!

He's getting so BIG

Some of the funnest times we have with him are when we're all in the car together and the kids make him laugh hysterically.

All of his therapy is coming along well. They are wanting to see more from him, but feel he is still making great progress. The nurse was hoping he would have beefed up a little more. He only weighs 13 pounds 2 ounces which puts him up 8 ounces from her visit three weeks earlier. Also, he is now 26 inches tall. From his physical appearance, she has no concerns about his weight. So, now I have to figure out how to plump him up some more. I guess there isn't any vitamin D milk coming from this Dairy Queen.

Bubbles

Ohhhh and how he was LOVING them!!

He wasn't too sure at first.



He had to test the waters and really discover something so new and different.


But it didn't take long to figure out how much he really liked them!

Silly Lincoln!!

Thanks Aunt Sarah!

Past and Present

Lincoln is such a little love. I've had SO much joy in watching him grow and blossom!

His itty-bitty feet compared to his cute piggies now!

He was NOT happy when we gave him his first bath at home. The second bath picture he wasn't necessarily smiling, but it sure beats him screaming.

Onesie on the left size 3-6 months. Onesie on the right size preemie

Here's the infamous preemie diaper next to a one dollar bill and his now size 2 diaper


And last but not least, he's comfortable doing our day to day tasks. We find lots of time to play and giggle!

Lots to Show off...

I have lots to post..But for now...I'll let you stare into these beautiful, deep, soulful eyes!

Doesn't he have a striking resemblance to the Gerber Baby? I think so!

Eight MONTHS

The days seem to whisk by without hesitation. It leaves me wondering what day it is and then I find myself amazed that the days passed have come and gone. My baby is growing like a weed. He ceases to amaze us all.
They've ramped up his vision & occupational therapy in addition to adding in a physical therapist. Everyone is baffled at his progression. When I went to the second dose of his neonatal follow up clinic, I was greeted with the same reaction from the dietitian, nurse, pediatrician and physical therapist. They each had their concerns and many red flags while reading through his history. After evaluating him, they each anxiously informed me he was nowhere near the condition they would have assumed he'd be in. With that bit of info, it might trigger a question of why would they increase the therapy? They feel that if there could be something that either they're missing or hasn't presented itself, they want to grasp the window of opportunity and minimize anything that possibly could be in his future.
He's still a little behind with a few things, that is to be expected. His back and neck muscles aren't near as strong as they should be. He was in a hospital bed for four months so it comes as no surprise to anyone. In fact, they are indeed very pleased with his capabilities where they stand.
We have our few little exercises to do each day. He really doesn't mind...that meant just that much more time with mommy!

He is:
reaching for and holding his feet
staring at his hands
laughing at his mommy-brothers-sister-and-daddy
rolling onto his tummy on either side
grabbing the dogs hair and holding on for dear life
sleeping from 9:30 pm until 6:30am
wagging his tongue like a dog
singing to hear his own voice
sitting very well in his bumbo
and continuously stealing my heart

He is such a sweet, patient, loving, happy, kissable little angel. He continues to defy the odds. Lincoln was meant to be here. He fought so hard just to get his little body and be with our family here on earth. He is such a strong little guy who is never willing to give up. Hmmmm sounds like he fits right in with the other kids we have :) Without fail, I am always reminded that miracles exist and Lincoln will ALWAYS truly be our miracle. I don't know what we did to deserve such a special little spirit, but I'm sure glad he's ours!

Oh Me Oh My

Yep, another month...come and gone. And we're still keeping him. And no, you can't buy him...he's not for sale! Lincoln's 7 months old .... His adjusted age is 4 months!

We still have our occupational therapist, vision specialist, and nurse coming every month for check ups. The OT say he's doing really well and everything that is expected of him. The nurse feels the same way. In fact, the last time she came he had gained 10 ounces in less than two weeks and she was SUPER excited about that. The vision specialist feels Lincoln is on track as well. But when we went to the neonatal follow up clinic, the opthamolgist observed that Lincoln definetely had an injury from either the brain bleed, hydrocephalus, infection from the shunt, or the actual pressure. He diagnosed him with Cortical Visual Impairment. Now, how severe is it? We don't know yet. We do know he can see though. The opthamolgist said just the fact that he makes eye contact and tracks things is HUGE. He diagnosed him with having 20/200 vision or worse, which is considered being legally blind. I think we'll know and see the bigger picture when Lincoln can communicate with us what he is seeing. So for now, we'll just keep hoping for the best and trying to teach him the best ways possible to learn to see!

Can't wait to see him running around in these one day!